Dry Run

 My harness AND my leash! Are we going for a car ride? A "Dry Run?" Okay!

 Oh! Are those my raisins? Am I going to get raisins?

 Wait a minute- SLOW DOWN! I have to mark the leash with my morillo. Again.

 Are those horsetails? Can I eat them? They seem to have disappeared from the front yard!

 I guessed it! A car ride! Sam is here this time! Cool!

 Stacy has suddenly disappeared into the car. With the raisins!

 Say, isn't this the new ramp from the back yard? 

The one Stacy has been making me stand on to get raisins?

 Make up your mind. In the car. Out of the car. Sheesh!

 Did somebody mention raisins?

 Sure, I'll stick my head out of the car for a raisin!

 Really? I just got in. Are you sure you want me to come out?

 On the ramp. For a raisin. No deal.

 Oh, cool! The back opens up!

 Ramp. Raisin. No can do, SUCKA!

 The ramp has to be out the SIDE door. Like I said. Ramp, raisin, piece of cake!

 I don't get it. Raisin, but no ramp. What's the deal here?

 If you don't know how to operate the leash, lady, get yourself a piece of rope. 

It's less embarrassing!

Modeling this year's harness and leash, we present Dobby, 104.2 lbs of handsome devil!

 Am I a good boy, Mom? Am I, am I, hunh?

 I'll just sit here while everyone admires me!

I am the pouffiest one in town! 

But what I still want to know is, what is a "Dry Run?"

Cleaning My Swimming Pool

 I'm pretty happy with my swimming pool. The steps are a little shabby and my noodle has seen better days, but the pool is perfect. 

Perfectly green.

 All of a sudden my pool steps were fenced off and my swimming pool was squished into two tiny buckets. 

They are barely big enough to hold my goldfish!

 So what are you doing to my swimming pool? Can I help?

 Why is my table out here? What are the hoses for? What is happening?

 OMG! This is so scary! Isn't it kind of eery to see all the way down there? And WHERE ARE MY FISH?

 I'm sure glad nobody cleaned up my mud!

 The ducks know how water is supposed to look. 

They can turn water green in a New York Minute. 

This is their charming little water feature.

 They kicked me out. I still have my little tub. It is nice and green.

 Aaaaah!

 It's still clear. I should hire some ducks to speed up this process.

 I give up. But I'm not going to swim. I'm just going to stand here.

 This is my Vincent Van Gogh pose. Ha ha just kidding.

 My "Garibaldi Rous" imitation. Without the rolling.

 My noodle.

 Walking like T-Rex.

 I can't wait until it is green again.

 The next day...

Pump schmump. 

If this is a construction zone, where is the orange security fencing? 

I'm going in and you can't stop me!

 Oh, very cool. It isn't green but it is getting better!

 Look! My fish are here now! They got really big!

One month later...

Club Mud

 Here I am, modeling this season's finest mud.

 When you live where there's lots of rain, there is usually lots of mud.

 We don't have a lot of clay in our soil, but the high organic matter content allows it to adhere nicely to fur.

 Note the effect around the eye.

 It is actually pretty deep. Stacy wonders where the lawn went, but I think this is a nice improvement.

 Some of our mud is Duck Muck that comes from the duck wading pools. That probably explains the organic content.

 Stacy tries to keep the Duck Muck *way back here* which makes a nice place for me to roll around in it.

 This is my extra special mud area that I use after I come back from the front yard. See, I walk right through here and on into the aviary, but my entry ritual includes a stop-and-roll in this nice mud.

 It's okay to come into the kitchen with mud. 

 Nobody seems to care any more. I think they have given up completely about the mud business.

 This is pretty typical. My daily Mud. This linoleum cleans up real nice.

 Sometimes it's a little bit too much mud, even for me. But it shakes right off! I'm pretty good about not doing this too often in the kitchen.

 How about a little kiss, sweetheart?

And that's all the mud I have to show you today!

Scarface

 

Do you see the pot under Stacy's right hand? That is the pot I crashed into on Wednesday. 

[Missing video that nobody thought to shoot]

I had a dog visitor who wasn't very polite and scared the heck out of me by barking. Instead of running away, I ran across the bridge (stage left) and when I turned right to head down this path, I skidded into the pot! It was just like the cartoons where the dog legs turn into wheels and everything gets crazy.

 Mom, I got a BooBoo nose! It was hard to tell how bad the cut was because of all the blood.

 We sent some photos to the vet who thought we should come in to check it out.

 This is my favorite photograph! What makes it so good is that I had just eaten an apple, and all that juice adds a really sick effect to the underlying gore.

 

 In the car I got all mixed up in my leash and rode with my ears pulled back the whole way.

[missing photograph this time: picture 5 lab coats in a semicircle, everyone shrugging]

When we got to the vet clinic, I *almost* got out of the car but then a dog started barking in a parked car at the pet shop next door and I backed way up into the car again. So the veterinarian and staff came out to the car to take a look. We all decided that it is going to be a really cool scar, but that if it isn't awesome enough I can have plastic surgery to fix it. I'd like a Frankenstein scar with stitch marks!

 

 I was still mad on the way home. All that way and we just got a little bottle of pills.

 This is what it looked like on Thursday afternoon. It's a big gash.

On Friday you can hardly see it. I'm probably going to have to go back to my scar it "enhanced." It doesn't look like it is going to be very impressive, after all.